It's so weird to me that this trip is actually happening. I still remember vacillating over the decision in January - study abroad this summer or stay in Austin? I was conflicted. Austin is pretty much home now, or at least a second home. I stayed there last summer, meaning if I left this summer it'd be my longest time away since I started college in 2010. Last summer was probably the best summer of my life (though I'm only 20, so that's not saying too much). Memories include (but are not limited to): late night food runs, trying to hone my cooking skills during dinner parties, dinner parties, brewing coffee at 3AM, concerts every other week, new friends, old friends, fellowship, busting into my neighbor's apartment uninvited (and invited), intense Texas heat, and a lot of muffin baking. Summer of 2011, you were most excellent.
While there is definitely so much in Austin, the one thing that held me back from committing to studying abroad was my fellowship. Koinonia has been such an integral part of my college experience thus far, and there's no way I could ever tell someone about these past two years of college without mentioning it. I've learned and experienced so much about God, and I was really concerned about what studying abroad would mean for my relationship with God - could I thrive abroad? Koinonia has been such a safe haven for me; could I grow in my relationship with God apart from it? Or would I return from these two months spiritually dry and distant from my creator? Would studying abroad sabotage the one relationship in my life that matters most? Also, my heart has grown quite fond of everyone in Koinonia, especially toward my peers. The thought of leaving everyone for the summer was a saddening one. It would have been sadder had I known almost all of my peers would end up staying for the summer.
After a lot of thinking, dwelling, pondering, writing, dreaming, and talking I decided to go. There are a number of reasons why I chose to do so ranging from breaking out of my comfort zone (see: Asians who are Christian . . . or just Asians . . . or just Christians) to traveling around before I'm working, but fundamentally my decision was based upon knowing that I could experience Christ in London. I can grow in my relationship with Him while I am there. I can attempt to get a glance of what his vision is for that city. I've grown up in Texas all my life, but I know God isn't limited to Texas. He's in London, too, and I want to meet Him there. I know it's not going to be easy; there will definitely be a lot of self-discipline involved, but with everyone's prayers and well wishes I hope to stay grounded.
Following the decision, one topic that kept appearing in my mind was the “missing out” on things aspect. Austin literally has boatloads of things to do, memories to make, and relationships to build. How much would I be missing out on this summer? I have realized that making a decision to stay in once place means you’re missing out on
another place. That’s just a fact
of life. When you decide on one thing, you don't get the other. Instead of focusing on
what I’m missing out on, I want to focus on the opportunities in front of
me. I'm going to travel to a continent I've never even stepped foot on. I've chosen to go on a trip where the amount of uncertainty I feel can only be matched by how excited I am. I will definitely be missing Austin while I'm out of Austin, but as far as feeling as though I'm "missing out?" Perhaps not.
